


i’ve done this before (not like this)

by hyuck127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Excessive Drinking, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, House Party, M/M, Miscommunication, Recreational Drug Use, Song fic, Song: BeFoUr (Zayn Malik), ex boyfriends, ex friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 10:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17579432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuck127/pseuds/hyuck127
Summary: three boys, a pair of ex boyfriends and a pair of ex friends with unsolved business, met at the roof of a mediocre but life changing house party.





	i’ve done this before (not like this)

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry for this mess like, truly sorry  
> feel free to leave a comment if you want to!!  
> thanks for reading :)
> 
> Song: befour - zayn malik

what an amazing way to waste a friday night, renjun thought while making his way through the crowd of the party and drinking whatever was inside his cup. renjun hated parties and he hated donghyuck too, for dragging him there to that shitty party with a vague promise of staying beside him the whole night. there is no need to clarify that as soon as donghyuck saw mark, he ran after him, leaving renjun alone.

he sat in the kitchen, next to where the drinks were placed because he was dumb to trust donghyuck’s words but not that dumb to stay there alone, bored and sober.

“i’ve been watching you drink for the last 30 minutes and honestly, i’m surprised that you are not throwing up everywhere around this house” a tall and dark haired boy with a charming smile said to renjun. he did not notice the boy staring at him during all that time. “nice to meet you” the boy said to renjun while he extended his hand towards him. “i’m jeno by the way” he laughed and jeno thought that that laugh was better than any other sound he had heard before.

he stared fondly at jeno for a good 20 seconds, examining all the beautiful details of his face. “you are the most handsome man i’ve ever seen in my life” he blurted out. jeno’s eyes widened as if he had just seen a ghost and renjun wanted to disappear. he blushed and covered his mouth with his hands, his ears were redder than a tomato.

“sorry, sorry please i’m sorry” renjun said while almost crying. “it wasn’t my intention to say that out loud, i was just thinking about it but oh my god” he said while covering his face with his hands “this is so embarrassing”.

jeno laughed again and renjun was about to lost his sanity again. “im renjun, sorry” he said while giving his hand to jeno. “you are handsome too, renjun” jeno said while smiling. maybe this night wasn’t going to be as bad as renjun thought.

“why are you drinking like that?” jeno said while drinking another shot of vodka. “i came here with my my friend donghyuck, i don’t think you know him, i did not want to come because i knew he was going to leave me here alone, but” he said while emphasizing the ‘but’ “he promised to stay with me the whole night but as soon as he saw his not-boyfriend-but-almost-boyfriend, he left me here all by myself” he sighed. “so i’m drinking to get through this boring night without killing someone or killing myself” he said and jeno smiled. renjun thought that if he saw jeno smiling like that once again, he was going to die from a heart attack.

“why are you here?” renjun asked jeno while karma chameleon by culture club started playing. “i love this song by the way” both of them laughed. “i’m here to forget about a certain some but that certain some is somewhere around this house so” jeno said while drinking “it’s definitely not working” he said while grabbing renjun’s hand. “i love this song too, i think we should dance” jeno said while taking renjun to the living room where everyone was dancing and having fun.

while dancing with jeno, renjun spotted donghyuck making out with mark “see over there” renjun pointed to where mark and donghyuck were minding their own business. jeno hummed once he saw them. “that’s my friend donghyuck who promised to stay with me the whole night with his not-boyfriend-but-almost-boyfriend mr. mark lee”. jeno laughed “hey mark is my friend, we play basketball together” jeno said excited “i kind of envy them right now” the younger said. renjun felt like dying for the 10th time that night.

“do you want to go to the roof? it’s definetly more quiet than here” renjun whispered in jeno’s ear. jeno nodded in agreement. he remembered that time around last year when he was there, at that house, partying with donghyuck and with jaemin. he remembered jaemin’s hand on his wrist, taking him to that same roof he was going with jeno now. he remembered everything.

once they reached the roof, they heard a lonely voice singing and the strings of a guitar playing. they also felt through their noses the strong smell of marijuana. “we are not alone here” jeno said.

as they were walking through the roof, renjun recognized that voice. he came to a dead stop when he came to the realization of who was singing. jeno looked at him with surprise in his eyes at the sudden reaction of renjun. “what happened?” he said while coming closer and caressing renjun’s right hand. “i know who’s here, who’s the one singing” renjun said, almost panicking.

“who is it?” jeno said while trying to figure out who was the person that was up there, alone, smoking marijuana, playing the guitar and singing from the dining table by harry styles. “it’s na jaemin” renjun said while looking at jeno.

jeno wanted to run away. jeno wanted to escape. jeno wanted to be anywhere but up there.

renjun noticed the sudden change in jeno’s face. he looked panicked, as if he was about to cry. “what happened?” renjun asked while looking at him dumbfounded. “na jaemin is the certain someone i was avoiding” jeno said while looking at the floor. “na jaemin is my ex boyfriend” he said, while a few years came running down his face.

renjun wasn’t expecting that answer. now, he was panicking too. he looked at jeno, shocked. “what?” he managed to say in a whisper. “he’s my ex boyfriend” jeno said softly, he did not want to be heard. “do you know him” jeno asked and renjun laughed. “unfortunately, i do know him too” he said while trying not to cry. “and it seems like i indirectly know you too”. jeno was about to ask renjun about what he had said but someone interrupted him. “hello” na jaemin said while looking at the floor.

“hello jaemin, long time no see” renjun said while looking at the younger. he was visibly drunk and also high. he was standing there, holding his guitar with one hand and with his other hand, he was holding a beer and a weed cigarette at the same time. he was thinner than the last time he saw him. his brown hair was now long forgotten as he now had his hair dyed pink. he looked older, he looked more mature than the last time he saw him. he looked more beautiful than before.

“hello renjun” he said while looking at the older standing from a far distance. “hello jeno” he said a few seconds later. jeno did not answer. “i don’t want to interrupt whatever you guys were about to do so i’m leaving” he said while starting to walk towards to the stairs.

“stop” jeno yelled while almost choking. both jaemin and renjun looked at him shocked. “please, don’t leave again” he said while breaking down. he could not contain his tears anymore. jeno was now sitting on the floor, hugging his legs and sobbing. renjun bent and tried to comfort jeno, caressing his back and softly whispering sweet things in his ear while jaemin stood there watching jeno cry, not knowing what to do.

“should i leave you guys alone?” renjun asked “so i don’t bother while you talk” he said while standing up. it was true, he did not want to bother but he also did not want to face jaemin. he was not ready for that.

“no” jaemin said while looking at him straight in his eyes. “stay”. renjun was paralyzed. he stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do or what to say next. “we all need to talk, the three of us” jaemin said while holding his tears. “i think that the both of you deserve an explanation”.

the three of them were sitting on the roof next to each other, jaemin was playing with his guitar while renjun and jeno smoked the weed that jaemin had offered to them. it was a quiet night, renjun thought while looking at the silent and empty street. it could’ve been a quiet night for him too if it wasn’t for the fact that he was now sitting on a roof with his ex friend and his ex friend’s ex boyfriend trying to solve a problem that renjun did not know that he had until that moment. or maybe he knew, but he preferred to ignore it.

renjun was so caught up with his thoughts that he did not notice when he had finished his blunt. neither he noticed the fact that jaemin was talking with jeno until he heard his name. “what happened?” renjun interrupted them. “i heard my name so i want to know what you guys are talking about” he said while still looking at the empty street and playing with his own fingers. “

we were talking about why we broke up” jeno said. “oh, that’s sad” renjun said “why did you guys broke up?” he asked.

“we broke up because of you” jaemin said out of nowhere and without hesitating. renjun choked with his own saliva. “what the hell?” renjun said in shock. renjun could not understand how he was the reason of their breakup when he didn’t know that jeno existed until a few hours ago and of course, much less knew about the fact that jeno was jaemin’s ex boyfriend. he did not even know that jaemin had a relationship with someone as a result of distancing himself from jaemin for a whole year, almost two.

“it seems like there’s a lot of lack of communication between you two” jeno said and renjun laughed. ironically. if only jeno knew, he thought.

“i haven’t seen jaemin in months, even years” renjun said “how could i be the reason of your breakup? there’s something that i’m clearly missing here” he said while laughing, even though that situation wasn’t funny, at all.

“jeno and i began dating around two years ago” jaemin said while not looking at renjun. “but we broke up a few months ago” he finished. “we broke up because he realized that he still had feelings for you” jeno said, angry. “i don’t blame him tho” he said while giving a smile to renjun. jaemin remained silent.

“so you guys started to date around the time that you disappeared” renjun said to jaemin. jeno took a few steps back and sat down, he did not want to get into their conversation. “can you please say something jaemin” renjun said annoyed. “just say what you want to say now” he almost yelled to the younger. “say everything to my face, it’s a shame that you can talk about this with everyone but me”. jeno, who was standing next to renjun at that moment, reached for the older’s hand and started to squeeze it, trying to calm him down.

“i loved you renjun” jaemin said between sobs. “i still love you jun and i think that i will always love you”. jeno looked at them with a big smile on his face. renjun, on the other hand, he was shocked, speechless, overwhelmed by the sudden confession. “i’m in love with you” jaemin said after a few seconds of silence. “but i’m also in love with jeno” jaemin said and jeno opened his eyes as if he was a deer getting caught by a car in the middle of the night.

“and i can’t help it, i can’t hide it anymore, i can’t bury my feelings for jeno, i tried but i couldn’t” he said while looking at jeno who was crying like a baby. “i hope you guys can understand me”.

renjun could not believe what he had heard. jaemin, the love of his life, was in love with him. his feelings for the younger were reciprocated. but jaemin was in love with someone else, and it wasn’t just someone, that someone was jeno, his ex boyfriend and the boy who renjun met that night and thought that finally, for once, after days, weeks, months and even years of trying, jeno could help him to forget about jaemin’s existence forever.

jeno was beautiful and renjun could finally understand what falling in love at first sight felt. he knew nothing about jeno but yet, renjun felt like he had known him since he was born. the connection he felt with the younger was extremely powerful. he was charmed by those amazing big brown eyes that formed a smile every time he smiled. he loved his black disheveled hair. he loved jeno’s strong arms and how fit his body looked. he was enchanted by jeno’s voice and how sweet he talked to renjun. he loved every single aspect of jeno’s personality.

after a few minutes of thinking, he managed to understand jaemin and his feelings for jeno because he was in love with jeno too.

and to renjun, jaemin was his childhood friend. jaemin was his partner in crime. jaemin was the one who made him realized that he liked boys. jaemin was his first kiss. jaemin was his everything. jaemin was the love of his life.

jaemin was everything he needed, he couldn’t deny it anymore. but so was jeno.

“this silence is killing me” jeno said while laughing “please say something or i’m going to die of anxiety” the three of them laughed at his nervousness. “what do you have to say about this?” jaemin asked with a grin on his face “i made my intentions very clear and i think that renjun’s ones are very clear too” he said while looking at the older who blushed at the sudden stare. he was a mess.

jeno laughed. he was nervous as hell and that nervousness was giving him away. he opened his mouth to say something but he couldn’t. he closed his mouth and sighed with a smile on his face. “cute” renjun whispered but jeno heard him. “come on baby” jaemin said and jeno almost died. “i like you both okay that’s all i have to say” he said while hiding his face with his hands. renjun and jaemin laughed at the boy who was a blushing mess.

“why are you nervous?” jaemin asked while hugging jeno and caressing his hair like he did in the old days, when they were dating. jeno loved that those small actions of affection. jeno had missed them. jeno had missed him. “i missed you” he softly whispered towards jaemin while hugging him thigh and hiding his face on jaemin’s neck. “i missed you too baby” jaemin said while kissing jeno’s head.

renjun watched them with at smile plastered on his face. jaemin was beautiful. jeno was beautiful. even in his drunken and high state, he thought that they were the most beautiful boys renjun had ever seen in his whole life. he loved them.

suddenly, he felt left out. he felt like a burden, he wasn’t supposed to be there between the two guys. he was about to leave the two of them alone when he felt jeno’s hand on his wrist. “where are you going?” jeno said while looking at him, still holding his hand. “come here, i want to cuddle with you” he said while pouting “and i think that jaemin wants to cuddle too” he said while looking at jaemin and winking with a huge smile on his face “what are you waiting?”.

he sat between the two of them and they immediately hugged him tightly and renjun, for the first time in his whole life, felt loved.

“guys” renjun said almost dying “guys” he almost shouting. “what’s wrong baby?” jaemin said while kissing his forehead. “i can’t breath” renjun said while laughing. “i love this, i swear but i’m not used to all this affection” he said.

“i think it’s time for us to leave” jeno said while looking at the hour “it’s kinda late” he said while standing up. “you know, i live alone and” renjun said and jeno and jaemin smiled “i don’t want to be alone tomorrow and deal with the hungover all by myself” he pouted “oh my god don’t do that face, i don’t want to die” jeno said. “lets go to my house, i’m going to redeem myself tonight” he said while smirking. “i don’t want to know how you are going to do that honestly” renjun said and the three of them laughed at the same time.

after months of sadness and loneliness, renjun felt happy and at peace again. 


End file.
